537-year-old Stepmom Looks 27! Young Maidens Hate Her!
(Because she slaughters them to bathe in their blood)
Every scammy, scummy sidebar banner ad now uses the same copy: [Some professional group] HATES "Local Mom"/"Random Guy" for discovering this "ridiculously easy/cheap WEIRD trick."
Three years ago it was Dentists Hate Local Mom's Teeth Whitening Trick! The teeth whitening scam appears to have evolved into Dermatologists Hate Local Mom's Wrinkle Trick! The scam operates the same way: a bunch of fake front sites are set up, featuring a bogus "Mom" who reveals the "Weird Trick" which is to use Two Products At The Same Time. "Local Mom" got the products as "free samples" but that offer is no longer available so "Local Mom" will send YOU, stupid internet consumer, a 30-day "free" supply of Two Products which will only cost $14.99 for shipping & handling and then $100 a month every month for the rest of you life or until you cancel your credit card.
For some ridiculously weird reason, this scam just goes on and on.
Now HATE is even being used to sell legitimate products.
LANGUAGE PROFESSORS HATE HIM! UH, ACTUALLY THEY TOTALLY DON'T.
The guy that "Language Professors" all hate is actually a respected Language Professor who passed away 40 years ago. "Language Professors" hate his guts so freaking much that the American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Language (that's a cabal of "Language Professors") has named a pretigious award after him and they still present it every year. Yet for some reason, whoever is behind the marketing campaign to sell DVDs promoting this method of learning a new language (that would be you, Simon & Schuster!) has decided to use the HATE method of viral marketing, as if "Language Professors" (which would include your 4th grade Spanish teacher who makes like $36,000 a year) are some privileged elites guarding their precious secret from this Dangerous Dude who is a "threat" to their profession!
What kind of mentality does it take to believe that because (some random group) HATES something, that's a reason for other people to buy it? Maybe this appeals to the Conspiracy freaks, who think that some secretive, elite cabal of dermatologists, dentists, personal trainers, insurance agents, are all involved in some weird (yes! that favorite word of viral marketers!) cover-up like a real-life Da Vinci Code.
You know which viral ad I really hate? That ridiculously weird one with the woman wearing a leotard and a Drudge siren on her head, and little throbbing check boxes are all around her. I don't even know what they are trying to sell!
I mean like, WTF is this thing? Who is this woman? EVERYBODY HATES HER!
